If hypocrisy was a sport…

25 Jun

I’m just sayin’, if it was, which it isn’t, then we could put David Cameron in for the Olympics.

With his speech on posited welfare reform policies that man has once again danced beyond the realm of satire, passed the vale of caricature and into the glen of farcical pantomime villain.

This image graced my Facebook feed, seems about right.

Now I’m the LAST person to defend the previous administration.  New Labour features as one of my top 3 greatest disillusionments of my life, along with never developing superpowers/getting an invite to Hogwarts/finding a magical alternate universe to frolic in despite being fully in the demographic of well-meaning-yet-lonely-teenage-misfit.  Despite being raised as a Labour brat it’ll take an awful lot for Labour to gain support from me in future.  I kind of wish I could wipe New Labour and the grinning skull of Blair from my mind, much as I have The Phantom Menace (“eesa people gunna die?” yes Jar-Jar, that’s the question Blair should’ve asked).  Blair has morphed into some kind of perma-tanned spectre, the stench of dishonesty, self-righteousness, delusion and megolamania follows him in an almost visible black cloud, along with a faint whiff of lunacy.

Back to our current Prime Minister.  The man who said, pre-election, that the Tories are no longer “the nasty party”.  Cameron has in the past attempted to come across as an everyman, usually with resounding failure, but he got points for trying.  Today it seems he’s had enough of that, and in a bid to convince the Tory elders that he hasn’t caught any form of wishy washy liberalism from sharing oxygen with Nick Clegg, he has donned his nasty party cloak and, cackling, started to come up with more ways to take money out of the welfare system.

So far, so what?  A politician talking about saving the nation’s money when in recession (a douple dip recession: whether the coalition policies are responsible for the second dip or not, I don’t know.  I do know that I have a craving for sherbert) is nothing shocking.  But Dave, can I call you Dave? Dave… did you really need to describe those on benefits as having a “culture of entitlement”?

5 minute break whilst I sit here shaking my head and sighing occasionally.

Okay.  I get it.  A person who says “oi, society, I don’t wanna work, I wanna sit on my arse and have you all pay for my house and my car and my phone and my wii and my babies and my horrible poor person habits like drinking and smoking*” is a scoundrel, and no-one, NO-ONE, wants their taxes to pay for that person to live a kind of hamster life, with food and wheel in case they need it, but making no real contribution (benefit scroungers, so I hear, are not even cute like hamsters!).  These people are bad poor people, living in a culture of entitlement.  Right, agreed, this person getting money is bad.  Now, I don’t actually know anyone like this.  Do you?  Does David Cameron?  He must do, because you see this is the kind of person he is talking about.

I know a few people who are on benefits.  So they do exist.  I know quite a few who are under 25, definitely literate and numerate, and yet unable to find work and in between temporary contracts use jobseeker’s allowance so they don’t have to tap up their parents for more than they often already are. There are three I can think of straight from the top of my head who are on disability benefit, because they have conditions that make it very difficult for them to work.  Do they want to work?  Of course they do.  It’s a matter of pride, of feeling useful and helpful and undermining the stereotypes that other people have about disabilities.  Take S for example: she had learning difficulties growing up due to being born with Down’s Syndrome.  As an adult she managed to get a work placement in a college which introduced her to lots of new people and made her very open minded, as well as considerate.  She is kind and conscientious.  She wants to work, however mobility problems (she walks slowly with a frame for help), hearing problems, and health problems that are all increasing mean that finding suitable work is incredibly difficult, perhaps even impossible.  She lives with her parents, who are both pensioners.  Tell me, David Cameron, what “steps” should S take in order to improve her health?  I’ll tell you something Dave, I am PROUD that in this country my taxes go towards supporting S and her family, to give them the financial, medical and social support they might need.

Nevermind that though Dave, nevermind that you seem utterly devoid of compassion for the disabled, the unemployed, and the young trying to set themselves up in life, let’s just focus on that one phrase: “culture of entitlement”.  Does that not strike you as just the teensiest bit of a wicked thing to describe in other people when you are, after all, the son of a millionaire?  A millionaire who, much like the “morally wrong” Jimmy Carr whom you chastised publicly (some classy work there Prime Minister) last week, was allegedly involved in tax-reduction schemes as part of making his fortune?  Is it not part of a “culture of entitlement” to go to Eton, and then Oxbridge, and then expect to run the country with your Bullingdon Club chums?  Is it not part of a “culture of entitlement” to make allowances for the incredibly wealthy tory donors, even to find them cosy parliament positions, when they indulge in ‘creative’ tax accounting?

Is there anything that screams more of a “culture of entitlement” than sitting in your ivory tower, barely able to get the words out for all the silver spoons in your mouth, having just laid on a multi-billion £ party for the most entitled woman in the country, who was only entitled to such by an accident of birth, laying into the 2nd, 3rd, 4th generation losers of the great Thatcherite regime who are no longer working class because there is no work?  The audacity of talking down to a nation that scrimps and saves and has never watched basketball with Obama, or trashed a restaurant with Boris, or compared millions with Osborne, or eaten lobster off gold-plated dishes with the Prince of Ruritania or whatever the fuck it is that you do in between U-turns, arse-kissing, blatant dishonesty and using every weapon in your arsenal to widen the gap between the rich and the poor, calling for a “meritocracy” whilst supporting a monarchy, an aristocracy and an oligarchy.

Shame on you Dave.  So much for not-the-nasty-party.  I always wondered why the students in Slytherin didn’t realise they were the bad guys.  Perhaps it was due to their “culture of entitlement”.

*Also horrible habits of the posh. And everyone else. Except people who get up early to do Yoga, takes all sorts.

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